By Shalini Das, Creative Think
In a world that constantly demands our attention, applause, and ambition, self-confidence is often misunderstood. Many believe it is built on external validation — applause from others, rewards, or recognition. But true confidence stems from something far deeper: mindful self-care. In my work with students and professionals alike, I’ve found that developing self-love and self-awareness lays the strongest foundation for confidence. It’s only when we tune inward, manage our energy, and build healthy thinking patterns that we can show up fully — whether it’s for a stage performance or a life decision.
Recently, I came across Ben Meer’s “If This, Then That” list of self-care triggers and responses (Meer, 2025).
These 11 self-care algorithms beautifully echo the principles I teach during my sessions, especially when guiding teenagers in overcoming stage fear and self-doubt. Let’s explore how they align.
1. If you’re pursuing a goal… then avoid telling people. In my sessions, I call this “sacred silence.” Speaking too soon releases dopamine and tricks your brain into feeling like you’ve already achieved the goal. Instead, nurture it quietly until it’s ready to bloom.
2. If you’re unhappy… then start with brain health. Self-care isn’t indulgence — it’s essential. From sleeping well to reducing screen time, students often notice a shift in their self-belief simply by nurturing their bodies and minds.
3. If you experience a beautiful life moment… then write it down. This not only serves the purpose of journaling, but helps us, especially students, being more expressive. Journaling is a practice I encourage regularly. It trains the mind to focus on joy and presence — key elements in building a grounded sense of self.
4. If you find yourself regretting past decisions… then stop. Live in the present. Confidence means embracing imperfection. Teens especially need this reminder: you did the best you could with the awareness you had. Let go.
5. If you’re stuck in a mental loop… then ask yourself: “Is this useful?” “Will it matter in a year?” We often waste energy on invisible fears. This simple pause helps young minds reset and move forward with intention.
6. If you’re comparing yourself to others… then stop. One of the strongest confidence killers is comparison. I teach students to compare themselves only with their past selves — to see growth, not lack.
7. If they steal your energy… then step away. Setting boundaries isn’t rude — it’s self-respect. For a Class 10 student learning to trust their voice, this can be liberating.
8. If you see leaves swaying in the breeze… then take a moment to be present. Mindful observation is a superpower. It trains you to calm the nervous system, essential before facing a stage or audience.
9. If you feel overwhelmed by the media… then turn it off. Digital detox is part of every session I design. To think clearly, one must create space from noise. Silence often holds the answers we’re searching for.
10. If you’ve recently been through a tough time… then now’s the time to rebuild. Confidence doesn’t mean never falling. It means believing you can rise again — stronger, clearer, more resilient.
11. If you’re feeling rushed… then slow down to 85%. This one’s gold. I often tell my students: “You don’t need to try harder — you need to breathe smarter.” Focus and calm always outperform panic and pressure. Slowing down does not prompt failures. Rather it’s an introspective approach better performance.
Confidence is not a gift; it’s a quiet strength that grows through self-acceptance, self-discipline, and self-love. Whether you’re a teen preparing for your first speech or an adult rebuilding after burnout, these gentle “If-Then” practices are reminders of your agency.
At Creative Think, we believe that when you nurture your inner world, your outer expression transforms naturally. From classrooms to boardrooms, this is the message I carry forward: Confidence is an outcome of conscious self-care.